Thinking...

That day, my mum asked me, why I don't want to continue to study in Sunway?  She said at least she has a daughter wearing the mortarboard and a convocation to attend.  And I told her, I've never plan to attend one.  That answer, I know, it definitely has crushed her.

Some time ago, I decided not to study there but find a job and study elsewhere as a part time student.  Well, why?  There's so many reasons behind this.  I wanted to work because I want to earn money.  With money, I can splurge on things I want.  There's no longer the need to think whether I really like it or not, whether I really need it or not and so on.  *immaturity detected, I know*

The very main reason is because, I think I'm getting old.  By the time I pass everything and work, I think I'm very far behind compared to my friends.  And I don't want to study in Sunway is because damn it, I'm in the freaking SAME class with my sister's high school friends.  They're like 2 years younger than me!  That's so damn embarrassing.  Yea, that's the results for failing every semester.  And I don't want to study there part time because they're going to take up all my weekends, which means I'll have no life.  And with people asking me why am I still not graduating, I feel like stabbing myself.

I entered CAT-ACCA with a heart full of enthusiasm.  CAT was pretty smooth for me.  But somehow, things change when I step into ACCA.  And along the way, I've lost all my will to study.  Not all exactly, I still want to graduate.

So just as I've made my decision, I applied online for a job as an account executive in a very small company.  Even the bloody small company also don't want me because my qualification is too high for their company standard.  Pfft~  Then I realise, I can't do anything with my stuck-in-the-middle qualification.  Completed Part 2 without a degree and still doing Part 3.  Sigh... and I always wanted to wear nice nice and work in a big big building.  =(

And then my mum popped me the brilliant hope of hers.

Worst, I'm not sure whether I can pass my papers this round or not.

Part time? Full time? Part time? Full time?

What I should do is pretty clear actually.  Forget about the face.  There's so much more important things to consider.  I just need someone to convince me, that's all...


P.S.:  I know you've given up on my studies, but then I don't think I can do this alone...

I'm such a failure...